by ilkinilkin

‘I don’t know why they’re trying to give everything an intrigue meaning. People search for deeper meanings, clever remarks in life just to make it big and precious. Life is already big and precious without us playing God. Simple things are more beautiful as simple. Like smoking is just smoking. It’s not a metaphor, it’s not something clever. I’m not trying to achieve anything ironic about life. It’s just smoking you now, I’m just smoking. They say every cigarette causes you to lose 10 minutes from your life. If I’m going to die at 80, I don’t mind dying at 79. And if I’m going to die at 25 and smoking will kill me at 24, then it is already a shame. It’s simple. Loss has degrees in terms of importance. Loss is not always something unbearable.’

‘You have big hands. It’s almost like they can hold my world. My world has been so shaky, full of ups and downs. But your hands, i think they will hold it steady. Be the steadiness in my life. Your hands may not be the biggest but they are bigger than mine. That’s why I asked you to hold my wrecking world as one piece. But if you say you can’t or won’t hold my world, well it’s ok. You just hold my hand, I can settle with that. And if you say you can’t hold my hands too, well I’m not sure if I’m ok with that yet. Loss has degress in terms of importance. Loss is not always bearable.’

‘Sometimes I feel as if losing will turn me into a better person, wiser maybe. Then I remind myself that I don’t believe in deeper meanings and clever remarks.Yet, I still don’t see the bigger picture in this lose-lose games. I spend days and nights thinking. I’m losing my mind as I’m trying not to lose your hands and I’m losing your hands as I’m trying not to lose my mind. But loss has degress in terms of importance. Loss is not always something evitable.’